#Educational Parenting

[business-as-usual-bats]

Extremely funny, actually, because I just remembered half of Batman’s villains literally have PhDs

Damian: Father, I am retiring Robin, I am halting vigilante activities completely

Bruce: oh thank god, I approve So Much you have NO idea-

Damian: instead I'm becoming a doctor

Bruce: what

[familythings]

Should Parents Kiss their Children on the Lips?

Have you ever kissed your children on the lips? As simple as this question sounds, in fact it has proven to be a sensitive topic that have divided the world apart. Celebrities and common people continue to fight in all possible ways to convince others for their point of view. Statistics Remove any trace of makeup only with water by using our MAKEUP REMOVER SPONGE. Eco-friendly fiber that easily…

[incognitopolls]

We ask your questions anonymously so you don’t have to! Submissions are open on the 1st and 15th of the month.

[skull-pun]

Literally my biggest problem with the current state of things.

Atrocities and corruption are just met with a "eh" and that is just insane to me.

Like, have people always been this way? I really don't think they have, it really does feel like Trump and the pandemic caused the vast majority of people to become apathetic to the most inhumane shit.

Also we don't talk enough about how actually fucked up it is to have a generation of kids who have instant access to porn and gore and how that may have a negative impact on shit like empathy.

I grew up with best gore, I've seen some horrible shit, and I can tell you that it has definitely desensitised me.

But whenever you try to address the issue you just get called a boomer or a pussy or you get accused of trying to censor the Internet, like, what? No.

I'm not trying to censor the Internet I just don't think kids should have access to videos of factory workers being turned inside out.

*sigh* Idk man

[lalalaugenbrot]

also i learnt this semester that in 1960 only 6% (!!!!) of german students/youths made their abitur so i would like every person who's parents or grandparents or even great-grandparents!! have abitur or went to university even to do a little reality check and understand that they're from a very privileged and not normal family because i hate the way people from academic backgrounds assume everyone around them has an academic family background too, because let me tell you that is just very unlikely!!!!

[chaoticgabby]

"wE wErE NeVeR tAuGht tHiS iN sChoOL"

[jingerpi]

hey so I know the Internet is scary and children can see things that might be difficult to process but one of the absolute most important elements of child abuse and indeed abuse in general is isolation and controlling information. banning phones for kids will probably have minimal impact on whether they see porn or violence but it WILL make them drastically easier to miseducate and abuse

-sincerely, a homeschooled girl who has not spoken to her parents since she turned 18

[bumblebeeappletree]

Soooo I went and watched some video compilations of teachers saying kids can’t read or spell. And it feels obvious that these are the iPad babies who’re finally getting older. You know, the iPad babies who didn’t develop their fine motor skills to actually hold a pencil. Because all they know is tapping on an iPad.

Parents you need to realize you are your children’s first educator. You read picture books to them. You sing ABC’s with them. You do not give them a screen to watch that will shorten their attention span no matter how much you think it will help you.

Because it will not help your kids in the long run. It’s already harming them. Take them to the library. Get together with your neighbors for play dates. Your family members. Find people to babysit. Find events to take your kids to like an arts and crafts festival.

And give your kid a flip phone when they reach middle school if they absolutely need a phone. Talk shop about iPhones when they’re in high school. If the school provides your kids with an iPad or a Chromebook, set boundaries that the device is for school only.

It can be hard, especially when you’re a first time parent. There’s a reason why they say “it takes a village to raise a child.” Build connections to your community, and you’ll be able to raise your child to the best they could possibly be.

[mollysunder]

There is a theory that the way children play serves as a means to simulate and prepare them for the tasks they'll take on as adults. So for all the narrative weight both Jinx and the story give the boxing machine at the arcade it would never have prepared her or the kids to take on Piltover.

What are the two things that Piltovans excel at over their Zaunite counterparts to keep the hierarchy? Weapons and technological development.

When you look at the way Piltovans invest in their children, they don't prioritize hand to hand/melee combat training. Piltovans focus on giving their children experiences in handling firearms, a pursuit that is both leisure sport for the wealthy and a key offense against dissenting Zaunites.

And from the show notes even Jayce, whose family occupies the upper middle class, was sent on educational excursions across Runeterra to explore the world and learn what it had to offer. Without Jayce's education abroad he would never have been inspired to pursue the concept hextech.

It's no wonder that the two figures that are set to be Piltover's biggest threats from Zaun are Jinx and Viktor, becasue they engaged in the same kinds of games and activities as their Piltovan counterparts.

Jinx didn't have an entire forest preserved to help her practice her sharpshooting like the high houses of Piltover, but she did excel in the few games at The Rift (the arcade) that built on her talents. She's the only Zaunite thus far who's long distance offensive is a strong counter to Piltover's forces.

Viktor couldn't travel the world like Jayce did, but for better or worse he managed to stumble into an opportunity to get real opportunity in research not offered to his peers through Singed. It was through that experience that Viktor knew to turn to Singed when he was at the end of his rope, and the consequences of that will be fully realized in season 2.

Ironically, the kind of skill the boxing game champions is only good for keeping other Zaunites in line. Vander's days of fighting Piltover were way behind him when we first met him, and Vi spends season 1 primarily fighting other Zaunites. It's no surprise the Zaunites who embody the old ideal of strength in Zaun that the game portrays, Vi and Vander, are largely at the mercy of Piltover and end up collaborating with them to avoid further harm.

Zaun's future as an independent city-state couldn't happen if they stuck to their old ideals. The people who stand a chance against Piltover are the ones that not only succeed but excel at playing Piltover's games against them.

[multifandom-nerds-blog]

Random reminder that Black Butler is a psychological thriller/horror story with themes of trauma (all kinds of), SA and sexual imagery (in a possesive way) and supernatural elements set in old england. Also following a bunch of weird supernatural crime cases, which are individually used to explore all of the characters, their different dynamics and the different kinds of traumas everyone has. And on top there's some funny moments in moments where the comedy fits in.

It is NOT a BL. Thank you very much. Bye.

(PS. This rant came to life cause I read "Why are you watching Black Butler if you don't actually ship them" TO MANY TIMES on TikTok. The point is psychological horror/thriller that I just happen to like when done well enough.)

[1071png]

the wings make for good visual metaphor..or something (i just love drawing them)

[inkprilled]

Just before covid hit my brother and I at 15 and 19 found our selfs homeless. I had a choice, my brother would go into care or we could stay together, but only if I took responsibility for him and had somewhere to live. So I applyed for social housing, the guy that processed my case was sympathetic and at some points I was holding it together better than him, do you have any other family? No, Do you know where your mother is? I wish I did, how old is your brother? 15 are you in any fulltime education? Not anymore. He looked at me like I was something tragic and I suppose I was, there isn't a metaphor for what I looked like that works any better than just what his naked eyes saw; a girl abandoned by her mother, her life in a bag on her back completely thrown on how to deal with everything, and all he could do was fill out a form and send it and me off. it's going to be okay.

Somehow despite the odds we where given emergency accommodation and a year later a property to rent, I suspect we where pushed up the list because of my brothers age, we where lucky, some people wait years in hotels or streets all over the country, living out of suitcases and rucksacks.

As lucky as we where, luck didn't cover all the things I suddenly had to know. I had no idea how bills worked or paying my taxes, I didn't even really understand what "taxes" meant until the final notices where piling up in front of us. It's something they don't teach you in school or at least mine didn't. They never taught us how to survive in a world like this, they assume our parents would be there to explain or we'd be much older before it mattered. what's more useful in real life, how to formally address someone in an email or how to keep the lights on or how to find food when a tin of beans is too expensive.

Though I suppose the email ettique lesson was useful for something in the end,

To whomever it may concern, I'm writing to you regarding my payment plans and how I'm choosing to fork over alot of money and won't be buying enough food to live off this month. My regards.

[antisocialsharky]

Parents who Love their Kids Cause PDs too

The belief, that only parents who absolutely despise their kids, can cause said kids to develop a personality disorder, is a dangerous misconception.

This belief majorly stems from the facts, that:

1. People think parents who love their children do everything right & parents who hate their children do everything wrong and

2. People think, trauma can only be caused intentionally & maliciously.

Which is both bullshit btw! Let me tell you why:

1. Parents who "love" (however you define that) their children often tend to think that this love is:

• always visible and obvious to the child => therefore the child never has to question that they're loved

• a sign that everything they do is done in the name of said love => therefore no action/behavior can be wrong/abusive/bad because they didn't mean it maliciously, it was done out of love

• a reason that the child should/will forgive them for any wrongdoings and that the simple existence of this love is enough to make the child happy => therefore the child has no reason to feel unloved, no reason to complain and no reason to cut them off

Many parents do not realize, that they rely on their child automatically knowing of this emotions existence to such a degree, that they fail to verbally communicate it often enough, fail to make their actions show said love and fail to acknowledge that something done out of love, does not equal it being good or non harmful.

To give you a personal example here: My parents love me, absolutely! They'd lay down their life for mine in a heartbeat.

But when I was growing up, their actions did not always reflect that. I went years without hearing the words and whenever I tried to communicate, that I felt unloved, I only got to hear that I was being ridiculous. According to them I had food to eat, a roof over my head and two living parents that didn't beat me, so I should be happy.

They expected me to know that they provided these things for me out of love and that that should be enough to satisfy my emotional needs. It wasn't and it rarely is.

Loving your child is worth shit, if you don't make sure to remind your child of that love frequently. Its worth shit, if you fail to pay attention and fail to show up for this child. Love alone doesn't win you the "greatest parent" award.

Similarly, a lack of love, doesn't immediately mean that you're a horrible parent. You can not feel love for your children and still make decisions that are benefitial for those children. You can not feel love for them and still be a parent that doesn't ever raise their hands against them, which will make you "better" than many loving parents who do raise their hands against their kids. The emotional feelings towards your children do not determine your ability to be a good parent, at least not inherently.

There is nuance, when it comes to children needing to have their emotional needs met and being able to sense whether its genuine or not, but if someone is good at faking emotions, one could make their child feel loved, without ever personally feeling that love (=> arguments can be made about whether or not the child will be able to understand the goodwill behind the faking and will be able to value that the parent did that for their benefit, instead of being sad about there not being emotional love, but thats not the point of this post).

What I am trying to say is this:

• parents who love their children are capable of not meeting their childs emotional needs

• parents who love their children are capable of doing things that end up hurting their children

• parents who love their children are capable of being so caught up in chores, work, relationship problems, etc. that they accidentally neglect their children

• parents who love their children are capable of doing things, that they may see as "good", "character building", "helpful for later", etc. but which will do more damage than good

• parents who love their children are capable of pushing them away by being too controlling, too smothering and too invested

Being a parent isn't easy, but love alone is not the recipe for producing non traumatized well adjusted children. Thats all I wanna tell you right here. Theres always nuance and reasons why things may go wrong, but in the end love doesn't protect against that.

2. Trauma isn't always caused maliciously & intentionally. That much is probably already obvious from the previous paragraphs, but I'll get into it regardless.

If a parent works two jobs, has arguments with their partner at the side, needs to do most of the chores and has two children (one maybe at toddler age, the other a teenager), one (or both) of those children might end up experiencing accidental neglect. Theres only so much a human being can do & devote their time to and while you can set priorities, sometimes you will accidentally neglect a child, because you have no time to do their homework with them, you have no time to go to the park and play with them, you're too tired to listen to them babble on about their interests, you're too distracted to properly congratulate them about their good grades and you're not present enough to realize they're always alone and barely leave their room anymore. Maybe you fail to realize health concerns, conflicts with their friends, arguments between the kids, etc. All the while you're trying your hardest to provide for your children and balance your own life. Accidental neglect is a thing.

If a parent was brought up by an emotionally colder parent or an absent parent or a combination of that, they may have never learned how one properly cares for a childs emotional needs.

They may think they turned out fine, because they have a job, they have a house and a family, everything they're supposed to achieve, so why should they bring you up any differently than they were themselves? Maybe they even saw some youtube videos and facebook posts on how kids these days are all sensitive little things and can't manage their lifes anymore. Maybe the parent makes it their misguided mission to make sure their own kids are resilient and strong, just like they are, so they have a good chance of success and survival.

They don't tell the kids they love them. They don't comfort them when they're sad. They don't hug them. They don't allow big emotional tantrums. They harshly punish bad grades and mistakes, because if the kid is to succeed and survive, the parents needs to help it stay on the path. That parent loves their child and expresses this love in a misguided attempt at helping it succeed in life and be even better off than they were. Accidental/misguided emotional neglect (and abuse if u wanna call it that) is a thing.

I could go on about this for ages! Theres a million different situations in which parents try their hardest and best to give their kids a good life and help them succeed, but still have their children turn out traumatized.

Theres side factors like being marginalized, bullying, a lack of resources, other relatives being unhelpful/abusive, kids & parents being disabled in some way, etc.

All the love a parent holds for their child, cannot save the kid from being traumatized and it cannot save the kid from developing a personality disorder later in life.

If love (the emotion) is to be effective, it needs to be followed up by actions. Meeting a childs emotional/physical/developmental needs isn't done by holding a certain feeling for the child & especially not if you never make sure the child understands how you show & give that love to them.

By now, you might be thinking "Yeah okay sure, I suppose I already knew that much, but why are we talking about it this in the first place?"

Good question and theres multiple answers to it:

• Some parents will still not acknowledge that they have the capacity to hurt their kids. Many of them place more value in being labeled as/feeling like a "good parent" than they do in actually...producing a healthy well adjusted child. They believe themselves immune to causing their child trauma, simply based on "loving the child" and "providing food/shelter" and thats dangerous.

• Many people regularely get invalidated in personality disorder centered spaces, or also trauma spaces in general, if they have contact with their parents/have now build a healthy relationship with them, etc. Even other PDers/trauma survivors have not understood, that being loved by your parents doesn't equal a good childhood and doesn't mean that you can't be traumatized by them to the degree of developing a PD.

�� Many professionals do not realize the amount of impact, that emotional neglect can have and often blame the patient for hiding in their room, being too hard on their parents, being sensitive, etc.

• Many PDers/trauma survivors also invalidate themselves because of this! They may think "was it really that bad if my parents loved me?" or "is it even valid/am I allowed to be hurt by it, if my parents didn't mean to do that?". Its challenging to hold space for both: the acknowledgement that they were loved & the pain wasn't caused intentionally, as well as their own valid feelings of having been/still being hurt by it.

• Additionally theres many people who worry that their muted emotions/difficulties developing actual bonds, may cause them to be bad parents, since they cannot love their children in the conventional way. For them it might be important to hear, that actions usually speak louder than the emotions they were motivated by and that loving your child doesn't equal being a good parent, so not loving it doesn't equal being a bad parent.

A few closing notes:

• "love" is used here in the "societal definiton" way, or more the way people seem to use it to mean "unconditional lovey dovey feelings towards one or more people". love, is of course deeply personal and for many already includes the actions one takes to show said love. I use the general idea of it here, since thats often the way parents kinda mean it when they say it (+/- the part of providing the survival essentials of shelter and food or other material things..yk for arguments sake)

• everyone has a different opinion on whether or not children can/should be brought up by people, who can't feel love for them and whether said people can meet the childrens emotional needs. I think that if ppl who do love their kids are sometimes not capable of meeting their childrens emotional needs, having or not having the capacity to love, seems to not be an inherent guarantee to excell or suck at meeting a kids needs. therefore theres no reason to think that every person with an incapacity for emotional love will suck at meeting someones emotional needs. I mean its the same as with empathy, having a lack of that doesn't make you inherently suck at comforting people or being a good friend now, does it? its always individual.

• in the place of every "parent", you can of course put "caregiver" or whichever word fits your situation! its easier to just do the arguments with parents here, but it does of course extend to any person who takes care of a child.

• this is also not meant to be a post, that tells parents they always suck, or tell them that their love is worthless or whatever. you can see it more as a reminder, that love alone isn't enough if its just what you feel for someone. I mean...no romantic or platonic relationship will work well if you just love your partner/friend and pay rent and maybe cook a meal here and there. partners/friends have emotional & physical needs they need met and so do children. an emotion alone doesn't do that and especially not if you assume that its always known how you feel! children are individuals that have & understand different love languages and being a parent doesn't inherently mean you know what your child needs. you gotta actually ask it and interact with it in order to get to know your child and then act on that knowledge.

first posted on my instagram (same @)

[kafkasapartment]

Mary Ellen Wilson (March 1864 – October 30, 1956), also called Mary Ellen McCormack, was an American victim of child abuse.

[beauty-funny-trippy]

If the Trump administration is so completely lacking in morals that it can give pardons to the violent convicted felons of January 6, yet find no mercy in their hearts for a six year old with cancer — then none of us are safe.

There is no line they will not cross.